How Long is Forever?
by cagalli-chan
Summary: Oneshot drabble challenge. MwuMurrue. 'But maybe forever is just as long as a person wants to hold on. Giving up, letting go makes forever suddenly not there . . .'


Disclaimer: Gundam SEED belongs to Bandai, Sunrise, and whatever lucky bastard owns it. I am not gaining any profit whatsoever so don't sue the poor student who is about to become poorer when said student is about to go to college. Especially a private institution. Need to write a better disclaimer. Not that anybody reads this. OO

Summary: _'But maybe forever is just as long as a person wants to hold on. Giving up, letting go makes forever suddenly not there making it either not long enough or too long.'_  
  
Pairings: Mwu/Murrue

Warnings: Spoiler for the series, especially the last episodes for those who know what I'm talking about. Read at your discretion since I will not be blamed for spoiling it for anyone who is currently watching it on Cartoon Network. The rating is there simply because I don't want to take any chances for this fic or my account being deleted simply because it's 'misrated' as likes to call it.

A/N: This was another challenge I took upon at the drabbleme community at live journal. The challenge this time was to write exactly 593 words, with a R rating, having the quote, "Maybe it's too late to save you." This is another result. It's really hard to write a fic with constraints like this but I like the challenge it represents. And on another note rating is as it is because of the above stated. More author's notes after the short drabble. Enjoy.

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How long is forever?

She ponders this question all the time in her head, repeatedly asking herself the same question but never coming to a same answer every time.

She suppose it is an ambiguous question with equally uncertain answers. Or maybe there is no answer at all, making the answer to the question all that much harder for her to respond properly . . .

. . . and make it all that much difficult for her.

Can you grab forever and make it yours? Is forever something tangible that you can reach out and touch it?

She wonders if it is something tangible that you can touch with your fingertips, something that she could hold in her hands and believe in the reality of the situation rather than some dream that was so real she wished she never wake up from this ultimate delusion of grandeur.

But maybe forever is just as long as a person wants to hold on. Giving up, letting go makes forever suddenly not there making it either not long enough or too long. She can try 'forever' but forever can never be reached; that's why it stands for what it does. It is unachievable for her to reach out and hold close to her.

Which is why she refers to 'forever' as a rainbow. You think you can hold on to a rainbow forever but it eventually disappears from your sight, making you wonder if you ever saw the rainbow in the first place.

These thoughts always plague her every time she thought of _him_. Only the second man to take a place in her already fragile heart.

Then again thoughts like this always came up after the 'incident' with her first lover.

When he died in battle, she vowed to herself that she would never love another again because the thought of entrusting her heart to someone else was a risk she was not willing to take, pinning all her hopes on one man.

. . . but then she met _him_.

With a air of good natured humor yet with an aura of a soldier who could make the impossible possible if it was necessary, Mwu La Fllaga was a man you could not ignore the minute he stepped into a room.

And she both hates and loves herself for falling for him the second she saw him.

And she always told herself every time he went out every time to perhaps his final battle she whispered to herself the same thing over and over again like a mantra.

'Maybe it's too late to save you,' she whispered to herself while vainly trying to keep the tears at bay…

'. . . but I can still save myself.'

And it still amazes her that she fell in love with him despite everything she told herself saying that she would not.

Remembering the day they first kissed still sends shivers up her spine even to this day.

It was simple kiss yet it left her breathlessly waiting for more.

And he was natural for making her turn into putty into his hands, one hand gliding beneath her uniform to clutch her breast making her moan softly in his mouth. She felt the slight smirk against her lips and found him to be more incorrigible than she originally thought.

And as she remembers this moment a tear escapes from her closed eyes, a simple rainbow forming as the tear slides through the light only to disappear as it escapes to fall to the dark, cold ground.

end

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A/N 2: Yeah, I know this is short is which is why I'm going to make a longer version of this fic. The reason it's so short is because of the challenge requirements that were made on the drabble. Expect the longer to be out by the end of this month at the latest because if not I won't have the time to do it until mid August.

On another note, there is a _distinct_ possibility that I might delete my account here. I appreciate every one of yall that reads and reviews here but is being too much of hassle for uploading documents, the strict rating guidelines, the nasty people here, etc. What will probably happen is I'll post the fic here for about two weeks in which I delete it after that. Anyone wanting to read it again is going to have to go to my writing journal at live journal where the rest of my fics are 'archived' until I can get a website running.

Anyways, that is all. Thanks for reading. :D


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